Unleash Yourself: The Cost of Playing Small & The Power of Breaking Free

Mar 12

6 min read

It's 2:45am, you wake up, you are frustrated by your life's choices, maybe this quarter's revenue is not hitting target, your recent expansion isn't going as well as you thought and it all amounts to a simple question "Is this it?"

Is this all there is?

The business you built, the routine you follow, the relationships that keep you in check, the quiet sacrifices you make for a sense of belonging—are they truly what you want?

You are lying if you say you haven't been through a moment like this. Where you're suffocating. The walls feel tighter, the road feels narrower, and the expectations of the world feel like a weight strapped to your chest.

We want to do something bold, something game-changing, but the fear of being an outsider holds us back.

Maybe that’s you.

You’ve got the ideas. You know there’s more to life. But something keeps you playing small, keeps you hedging your bets, keeps you from standing on the edge and stepping off into the unknown. Maybe you're even thinking about a major change but you are worried the world is going to fall apart around you if you make it happen?

And if you’re honest? It’s killing you.

The truth is, playing it safe is the real risk. Staying where you are is more dangerous than stepping out.

And yet, so many people—especially those in close-knit towns—stay in the grip of a silent fear: the fear of being cast out, of disrupting the status quo, of breaking from the pack.

But here’s the thing. Every great innovator, every disruptive leader, every business owner who actually changed the game started as an outsider.

But here’s the thing. Every great innovator, every disruptive leader, every business owner who actually changed the game started as an outsider.

Sara Blakely (founder of Spanx) was laughed out of boardrooms, Chip Wilson (Lululemon) was dismissed for his vision. Even Katalin Karikó, who played a pivotal role in mRNA research, was ridiculed and kicked out of her lab.

Focused naivete, is what sociologists call it. Where it allows outsiders to see opportunities that others miss. The problem is that, while outsiders can spark innovation, they often struggle to gain acceptance or support.

But what we see, is the thing that made them outcasts is actually their superpower in the end.

The Trap of Small-Town Group-Think

Steve Jobs once said, “Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it… Once you learn that, you'll never be the same again.”

Steve Jobs once said, “Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it… Once you learn that, you'll never be the same again.”

But in small towns, there's a vibe not to rock the boat. Fit in. Play nice. Be part of the town, the community, the unspoken rules that keep everything just as it is.

We convince ourselves that this is just the way things are. But that’s a lie. The businesses, the culture, the community—they are all shaped by the brave few who push the edges.

Denmark has a core layer of group-think that keeps people playing it safe.

But playing it safe won’t grow you personally or your business. Playing it safe won’t fulfill your unmet desires. Playing it safe won’t make your life extraordinary.

Why Playing Small is an Internal Struggle, Not Just a Business One

The reason so many business owners don’t take risks isn’t because they lack ideas or skill—it’s because they are held hostage by their own inner fears.

Fear of being judged.
Fear of losing friendships.
Fear of failing publicly.
Fear of success and what it will demand of them.

And deep down? Fear that they aren’t enough. That if they step out and fail, it will confirm the worst thoughts they have about themselves.

Chris Argyris (a world renowned organisational guru and business theorist) and his double-loop learning explains why this happens;

We’re taught to think in single-loop learning—solving problems within existing frameworks.

But true change, true breakthrough, only happens when we challenge the framework itself.

We’re taught to think in single-loop learning—solving problems within existing frameworks. But true change, true breakthrough, only happens when we challenge the framework itself.

See, in single-loop learning, you hit a roadblock and tweak your approach within your current mindset. But in double-loop learning, you go deeper—you ask:

Why am I making these decisions?
What belief systems are holding me back?
Am I playing by rules that don’t actually exist?

This is where transformation happens. And in that moment of real personal change, it helps you see that if the system is broken, why are you still playing by its rules?

Becoming the Outsider: The Cost and The Reward

Let’s be honest.

If you step out, people will talk.

If you take a risk, some will say you’re reckless.

If you challenge the way things are done, some will push back.

If you step out, people will talk. If you take a risk, some will say you’re reckless. If you challenge the way things are done, some will push back.

But those who dismiss you today will be the ones applauding you tomorrow. Because nothing draws people in like someone living fully unleashed.

Look at the most successful people in the world. They were outsiders first. They had to fight for their vision, push through rejection, and live in that uncomfortable tension of being misunderstood before the world caught up to them.

Use Sara Blakely’s journey with Spanx as an example of an outsider breaking through despite rejection and resistance.

With no experience in fashion or business, she bootstrapped her company with $5,000, cold-called manufacturers, and convinced Neiman Marcus to take a chance on her product.

Men in the industry dismissed her, investors refused to fund her, and she had to force her way into a male-dominated market. But she never waited for permission—she built Spanx into a billion-dollar brand on her own terms, never taking outside investment to retain full control.

Behind the scenes, the emotional toll was immense—navigating personal issues, industry skepticism, and the pressure of leading a rapidly growing business. Her story proves that being rejected, misunderstood, and forced to stand alone is often the price of disrupting an industry—but those who push through redefine the game.

So ask yourself—are you willing to endure discomfort for a season to create the life and business you actually want?

The 3-Person Power Circle: Your Secret Weapon

Success is never a solo journey. You need three kinds of people in your corner:

The Truth Teller – The one who calls you on your BS. The person who won’t let you make excuses.
The Confidant – The one who listens without judgment, helps you process the struggle, and keeps you grounded.
The Ride or Die – The one who will show up at 3 AM if you need them, for fun or a crazy idea. No questions asked.

If you can find someone who is all three, you’ve found a friend for life. But having 3 different people will keep you pushing forward with plenty of perspective.

The 4 Takeaways to Implement Right Now.

I can break down the process for you anytime and tailor business growth strategies to your situation, that's the easy bit... But these are the takeaways that are tough to live out—the ones that really test you.

Question Everything – The town’s mindset. The way business is done. The way you’ve been living. If it’s not working for you, stop accepting it as truth.

Own Your Desires – Stop pretending you’re satisfied when you’re not. Whether it’s in business, relationships, or life—admit that you want more. You can’t build an extraordinary life if you won’t admit that the ordinary isn’t enough.

Start Before You’re Ready – Stop waiting for permission. Stop waiting to be fully confident. Start with the fear. Start with the doubt. Start messy, but start.

Stop waiting to be fully confident. Start with the fear. Start with the doubt. Start messy, but start.

Find Your Inner Rebel – The world is shaped by those who disrupt, not those who conform. Push the boundaries, shake the status quo, have wild nights out, go drink in a pub alone and meet new people and trust that your authentic self is worth the risk.

Push the boundaries, shake the status quo, have wild nights out, go drink in a pub alone and meet new people and trust that your authentic self is worth the risk.